The Rip Off
Anyway, I realised that it was high time that I did something about the printouts,
so I frantically called up a dozen people that I knew (including Madonna,
kirsten dunst, and all the other celebrities that you can never really check
up with :-)) to help, and it was of no avail. There I was, as it slowly dawned on
me that I had no choice. It was me and the keyboard, nothing else. So, that’s exactly
what I did, a couple of hours of relentless typing (and spilling countless eatables
on my keyboard). I had the documents ready. Relief. Finally!.
Well, and I switch on my printer, which started up with a lazy, and rather unpleasant moan.
It must have been easy from here, put in the paper and click print right! That would have
been true for anyone else, but my printer has been affected by the BHRH (Black Hole, Right Here)
syndrome, where the paper in the tray goes in, but mysteriously never comes back. Shucks! (The guy
in the other dimension must have been getting all my precious printouts). Hours of cajoling,
dint seem to help. And with no other alternative in sight, I had to go to a nearby DTP center,
and for the uninitiated, a DTP center is place where they take your data and charge obscene
amounts money for getting it printed, no wonder they are named DTP (Drives you To Poverty).
After navigating an abysmal sea of traffic, I finally managed to reach a DTP center,
so aptly named **** (Hey, I am not giving out the name here, if you are that smart,
just figure out the allusion!). The place was deserted, with a lone attendant in
front of a billing machine, and at the other end, a solo computer operator. The perfect
place where people get murdered in Tamil movies(apart from the hero obviously!). I
approached the computer operator,and reluctantly handed over the floppy disk. He
was quick with using it and loaded up the documents, and let me check them.
Well, all I did was give a nod of approval, to which the operator instantaneously
clicked print. The printouts were supposed to be on special sheets embellished with logo’s of
my institution. But, with the sheets safely stowed away in my bag, what was it printing on??
The answer came to me in the form of a printed bill. Rs 80, for printouts that I dint need, and
more to go for the printouts that I actually needed!. I gave him my assignment sheets, and asked
him to take a printout, hoping, he would realize his mistake and waiver of the original prints!
He promptly took my sheet, and went inside and .. SKreech! Crash! Bang!… Paper JAM!!!.
Twenty minutes and after a long senseless argument, I was offered the ultimatum,
‘Pay for the Printouts, and Forget your assignment sheets’, What a rip off!!, I handed over
the money, and walked out of the place, vowing never to set foot, at that place ever again.
Oh…, I just forgot I left my bag there, shit, I hate breaking my own vows. I still had a record
to go, and the time was already 7pm, 5 hrs, to go to the end of the deadline.
After searching for other DTP centers, everywhere including the telephone directory, yellow
pages, pages of FreeAds, the Holy Bible, The Torah, etc…, I finally found another place
which just suit my requirements just right, only that it was 12 km’s from my place. Hoping
that my petrol was sufficient in my scooterette, I raced to that place, and finally managed
to get my printouts, and also get it spiral bound there. The time 11:30 pm, Mission Complete!
Well, this post is dragging a bit, and I am really exhausted! So, until later…….